Ray Massey
5 min readJan 3, 2025

--

COGNITIVE DISONNANCE.

Can it have a humorous side?

Among the many fine TV programmes we have here in the UK there is a particularly inventive one called ‘The Last Leg.’ It features three comedians offering an intelligently humorous take on recent events reported through National and International News sources.

The programme is especially keen to encourage wider audience involvement through acknowledging differences. The show aims to take on knee jerk Wokery by offering its viewers the opportunity to post real time fair minded comments on awkward issues, which can then be matched against more reactionary or parochial opposing views on the same subject.

The Programme labels their interactive section as: “Is it OK?” — to be in Two Minds about an issue. So, not being shy myself of onboarding a promising idea. I have taken up my ‘Grumpy Old Man’ persona in order to see what enlightened judgements I can create that can be spitefully contrasted with curmudgeonly criticisms which in turn provide an opportunity to include considerably contemptable comments for popular consideration.

****************************

With Kind Regards to the original Programme makers — here is my irreverent version of:

IS IT ALWAYS OK TO HAVE TWO MINDS ABOUT IMPORTANT SOCIAL STUFF?

Trans/Gender.

It’s the 21st Century, people should be able to choose ‘who’ they are.

And -

It is obviously unfair for men who choose to self-identify as women, to compete in Female categories at sporting events.

Evacuation/Escape/Safety.

In the 19th Century — the mindset was Women and Children first.

Hold on -

It’s the 21st Century — surely every one of us is worth saving.

Employment.

Underrepresented groups should be prioritised into job vacancies.

Why -

Shouldn’t it be that People get jobs through demonstrating their suitability.

Public Toilets.

It’s the 21st Century everyone should be able to decide which toilet they use.

But -

Only if you live in Belgium because most public toilets there are Unisex.

Airport departures.

Families with small children should get to board the aeroplane first.

Hold on -

My ticket is the same as theirs and I can get settled into my seat much quicker than they will.

Aeroplanes.

There should be a separate ‘children and families’ seating section on Aircraft because kids can get upset about flying.

But -

So does my adult Sister in Law — so what now?

Public Transport.

My respect to the nice folk who will give up their seat to elderly passengers.

However -

Not when those Polite People try to do it for me — Noo Thank Yooo!

Driving.

We should accept new Drivers will need time to get used to being in traffic.

But -

Don’t practice on crowded roads when everyone else is trying to get home.

Restaurants.

Have friendly staff who write down our food order when we are ready.

But -

Don’t sit down at my table whilst you do this — you are not our guest !

Restaurant Cuisine.

Menus are there to explain what the Chef is offering from the kitchen today.

So -

They should not be an exercise in agricultural French nor necessitate the use of a dictionary in finding my way past overblown descriptions.

Restaurant ingredients.

It’s good for Restaurants to make use of the best available local produce.

But -

Knowing the name of the friendly Farmer who looked after the animal I am eating does not really enhance anything for me.

Restaurant prices.

We should be ready to pay for the Chefs’ skills and culinary expertise.

However -

Leaving the £ sign off the Menu does not look cool, it’s just lazy typesetting.

American Democracy.

You have the inalienable right to choose your own Political leaders.

But not -

The criminal misogynist candidate — how could you chose that one, Why ???

Two Countries divided by a common Language.

It is pleasing that we share the same Language across the wide Atlantic.

But -

This does not mean Americans can change our spelling whenever they want.

Across the English Channel.

We can all benefit from being close to a variety of European countries.

However -

The intractable Political systems in France and Italy are their own problem.

France and the French.

Amazing food, great scenery, fine weather and culturally supercilious.

A reminder that -

England & France were at War for over 100 years. We both think we won.

Slavery.

A widespread and brutal blight on Global Social History now properly acknowledged as very very wrong.

But shouting Woke accusations is just ignorant so -

Don’t self-righteously pick out specific culprits when it’s obvious that the whole World was guilty of involvement — and that includes your bit too.

English Democracy.

We have a long history of Parliaments bravely challenging oppressive Kings.

So we are an established Democracy now but-

Statistical analysis shows that we have still never had a Government that was elected by a majority of the people who actually voted in the election??

Marriage.

Successful marriage involves respect, communication, and compromise.

Now –

Why am I left feeling its nearly always me who should forego my intentions.

In Laws.

I have been happily married with my Wife for 28 years now.

So –

Why should it be necessary to get on with all these other people as well?

Supermarkets.

Successfully respond to the needs of a very wide range of customers.

Continually increase profit by-

Keeping prices stable whilst reducing pack contents and not admitting this.

Education and Schools.

Offering a pathway for children’s personal growth and development.

So –

Why, at their Primary school, were my 2 children made so afraid of failure that they are now unable to recognise a mistake as a learning opportunity?

Musical tastes.

As a teenager I remember intensely disliking my parents’ taste in music.

Leaves me asking –

Why are my two not even bothering to be aware of any music that I like?

25th December.

Christmas is a great time of year for reminiscing and enjoying ourselves.

So –

Why the recurring grumbles about it being Commercialised, we all happily live in a Capitalist Democracy, so stop being surprised by its features.

National Road networks

As a Nation, Britain has developed a sophisticated Major Road system.

But –

Due to serial neglect from successive Governments, it is now in serious need of repair. So take care of who and what you choose to vote for!

National Rail networks

Similarly we were the first to create an integrated Railway Network.

But –

It too, is now in desperate need of maintenance & major repair. See above !!

Be Well — Ray.

--

--

Ray Massey
Ray Massey

Written by Ray Massey

Intelligent, sensitive, humorous writer — new to this stuff. Offering life comments and observations from a Grumpy Old Man.

No responses yet